Elder Child Joined the Navy

[JaxSon]

If I didn't have such a low opinion of the military I might advise either of them to join. But I spent 20 years, my husband spent 20 years, his father spent 30 years in service so I think my family is done with that. Plus, I don't trust the military with my daughter.

First off, thanks for your service. I take it you had some personal experiences that make you say that about your daughter. I only spent 6 years in the Nav and I know there was sexual harassment going on. Hell, I even took part in it. Not realizing that commenting on your hard nipples in the cold air conditioning might somehow be offensive to you. I know now that is in fact sexual harassment and low class on top of that.

But females can now go on warships! They didn't use to do that in MY day! (gawd, I sound old)

Aarrgghh, it was a MAN's ship! With real MEN! Doing MANly things! With other MEN!

[northbayteky]

... Not realizing that commenting on your hard nipples in the cold air conditioning might somehow be offensive to you. I know now that is in fact sexual harassment and low class on top of that....

Well, if you ask me, that's not even the bad part. The bad part is (for me anyway) you go into a field and the men around you assume you're there to find a man, not to work. You go to work and the men assume you don't know how to do your job (I was an aircraft mechanic, I took auto shop in high school, I knew I was going to get dirty and greasy, I was a better mechanic than most of my peers.) And then there is that whole issue of assignments, the "good ole boys got the plum assignments (TDYs) I got nothing.

Yeah, making comments like those are bad. But holding a person back (from assignments, awards, recognition, etc.) because of their gender is a real issue.

[slgrieb]

Well, if you ask me, that's not even the bad part. The bad part is (for me anyway) you go into a field and the men around you assume you're there to find a man, not to work. You go to work and the men assume you don't know how to do your job (I was an aircraft mechanic, I took auto shop in high school, I knew I was going to get dirty and greasy, I was a better mechanic than most of my peers.) And then there is that whole issue of assignments, the "good ole boys got the plum assignments (TDYs) I got nothing.

Yeah, making comments like those are bad. But holding a person back (from assignments, awards, recognition, etc.) because of their gender is a real issue.

Nice to hear from you! Pleasant alternative to some of our recent testosterone fueled discussions. The issues you mention certainly do concern me; I'd be lying if I said otherwise. But, she's made her decision, and my job is to support her in every way I can. Still, I wouldn't have been too upset if she stayed with college and a civilian IT career. The only thing I can say is that this whole set of issues has become a lot higher profile of late, and I think is likely to remain that way, no matter what the admirals and generals might wish.

Since we had women fighting alongside Special Forces in Afghanistan (even if they were just supposed to be liaisons to local women), I hope that will put much more focus on the barriers women face in the Armed Services and their treatment.

[imarolan12]

I don't think that's a military thing, I think that goes on at a lot of places still. Heck, the entire management staff at our company is white men, and that's about 40 plus people. Not a single female or minority in the entire bunch. This country has come a long way in the last 30-40 years, but still has a really long way to go.

[slgrieb]

I don't think that's a military thing, I think that goes on at a lot of places still. Heck, the entire management staff at our company is white men, and that's about 40 plus people. Not a single female or minority in the entire bunch. This country has come a long way in the last 30-40 years, but still has a really long way to go.

Unfortunately, sexual assaults in the military are very frequent, and the command structure mostly tends to cover them up. That still remains a serious issue.

[northbayteky]

Unfortunately, sexual assaults in the military are very frequent, and the command structure mostly tends to cover them up. That still remains a serious issue.

Of course if they are the ones perpetrating the assault, they are sure to cover it up. I think a big reason they tend to cover it up (even if they are not the perpetrator) is they still have some unexplored belief that she wanted it.

Other nonsensical reasons they cling to:
HE is more important to the organization than SHE is.
It will be difficult to prove. (Hello! DNA anyone?)
It's a hassle and will create morale problems in the unit. (Hello! There are ALREADY morale problems if someone is being assaulted!)

[slgrieb]

Of course if they are the ones perpetrating the assault, they are sure to cover it up. I think a big reason they tend to cover it up (even if they are not the perpetrator) is they still have some unexplored belief that she wanted it.

Other nonsensical reasons they cling to:
HE is more important to the organization than SHE is.
It will be difficult to prove. (Hello! DNA anyone?)
It's a hassle and will create morale problems in the unit. (Hello! There are ALREADY morale problems if someone is being assaulted!)

I get all that, but EC's enlistment has been approved, she has signed on the dotted line and is ready to go, but she may not be inducted for 6 to 12 months. I hope this will be a good experience for her.

[JaxSon]

Dam, is the waiting line that long? Seems like an awful long time to wait. What is she going to do in the meantime?

[slgrieb]

Dam, is the waiting line that long? Seems like an awful long time to wait. What is she going to do in the meantime?

I agree that seems a crazy long time before induction, but it doesn't seem to be unusual these days. I don't know why. In the meantime, she's working at a couple of restaurants/bars, though she's dropping one of the jobs soon. She is also going to take classes at Howard College in San Angelo when the next session starts.

One of her jobs is waiting tables at Fast Eddie's Billiards. She likes the job, and the people she works with, the money is good, but she hates the uniform. The Uniform seems to consist of a skirt that just barely covers her ass, and she really, really doesn't like it. But, so far no one has been rude or disrespectful to her, if you don't count heavy breathing and drooling.

The last time I spoke with her, the Uniform was discussed at some length, and I asked what she wore up top, and was told that any kind of top that was dark blue was acceptable. Made me feel a little happier. I did ask her how she would react if some drunk grabbed her ass, and she said she would speak to a manager and have the guy removed from the club. I thought that was a very mature response, because I really expected that she would have broken the guy's arm. I asked her about that, and she replied that response was off the table since she really wanted to keep the job.

[slgrieb]

Spoke some more with EC today about our ongoing hassle with Angelo State University, and I suggested that after she quits her other job, she might get a job working at a topless joint where she could show off her tats. She didn't seem to think that was too funny, but I told her "Look, in a few years you could have a resume that reads, "Waitress, pole dancer, Nuclear Engineer" " I thought it would be great!